It all depends

Upon your point of view. That POV thing, that’s a stickler, especially if you’re writing about yourself. I’d wager a dollar on the fact that the majority of the copy edits being made to my book will be all about point of view. It’s a little weird. Not only do you have to figure out WHO you are, but actually WHEN you are. From there, things get a little more complicated.

So last week at our writer’s workshop. One of the best things about my job, might I add, is a built-in group of caring writers. We worked on an exercise in which the POV shifts from first to second to third person.

Here’s what has to happen in the story: A guy takes his dog for a walk and ends up getting shot. For this story, we used Ben Bernanke and a Mexican hairless named Bunting.

Here’s where I landed:

I didn’t actually see it happen. It was that fast. One minute, one moment, really, I was walking Bunting and the next second I had a hold of a leash that was tethered to a massacre.

Bunting was minding his own business. At least, that’s what I assume was the case. He and I have a pretty good routine. Maybe it was the unfamiliar walk, or the smell of the ocean air.

At any rate, Bunting and I set out on an innocent walk along the beach when the other dog—was it some kind of wolf? They are all some kind of wolf, I guess. But this was more wolf-like than Bunting. OK. I know, just about every other dog is more wolf-like than a Mexican hairless. That’s beside the point. This German Shepherd-looking-attack-Nazi dog just came out of nowhere and throttled my little dog.

It was that fast. He—the other dog—I think it was a he—isn’t it odd how we assign aggression to males? Anyway, HE grabbed my baby Bunting by the neck, gave a quick shake, and … it was over. At least it was over for Bunting. The Nazi and I were another matter.

***

You grab at just about anything you can, a leash, a collar—this dog had nothing—no distinguishing item of any kind. Not even a collar. You grab, and you twist, and you shout. Oh boy do you shout. Your dog lies dead at your feet. His killer turning his blood lust on you. And suddenly, you are all hands! Your body is tense. If you could only relax into the fight, like something you do everyday, but no you are as stiff as a … well, a stiff. The dog can sense this, you know this. Your blood is up. That’s probably what the animal can smell—its large, dark, flaring nostrils find your own, coursing, carotid artery on their own.

Your mind fades as the Nazi-dog-out-of-nowhere sinks its teeth in first to one side of your neck—the wound—then the other side of your neck—the kill. You think, This must be what it feels like to be attacked. Except you aren’t feeling attacked. You are feeling cold. Calm, cold, no fear—just you, the dog at your throat, and the cool, numbing cold of the world you are leaving.

***

Ben’s mind went first. You could see it in the way his eyes just faded out of focus. Only a minute into the attack, blood coursing out of the open wound in his neck, Fritz waited. Jaws locked. Until just the right moment. Then, as easily as he had dispatched the Mexican hairless, he gave a solid yank on its human prey and a strong, forced twist.

The sound of Ben’s neck breaking echoed up the bank. That was what caught Officer Hernandez’s ear.

He charged, the officer, just fast enough to arrive at the scene as Ben was finishing bleeding out.

“Fritz,” he called. “Heel!” And the dog let go of Ben and trotted to his side. Hernandez slipped the collar over the dog’s neck and buckled it under its bloody jowl. Some of Ben’s blood slipped onto Hernandez’s sleeve. Shit, Hernandez thought, I’ll have to explain that now. Fritz sat, then downed at Hernandez’s side.

Hernandez exhaled, drew his service revolver, and walked calmly up to Ben’s body. “Stop,” he said, barely audible. “Police,” he said in a dull, clear voice.

Then he discharged a bullet into the forehead of Ben’s lifeless body.

This much I know

This I know: There’s a back story to every big decision. Last weekend I walked along the Oregon Coast and contemplated a major purchase. A big deal. Something that could very easily crack the foundation upon which I’ve built my most cherished possession—my stability.

It wasn’t unlike the day we decided to (quite literally) put all our eggs (quite metaphorically) in one basket. Though this time, my father was way more involved than I would care to admit.

My thoughts last weekend all began with the Magicland Development Corporation. You know, those few hardy souls behind the development of Gregson Hot Springs. (For those of you born after the Kennedy assassination, Gregson Hot Springs is what we used to call Fairmont Hot Springs.) My dad was an officer in the development corporation, along with a man named Bob Franklin. Both of them have long since passed away, but Bob F, Bob B, and a couple of other entrepreneurs put their heads together and developed Gregson into a resort, which they sold it to a Canadian man named Lloyd who had a resort in British Columbia called Fairmont Hot Springs. The big deal at Fairmont (Montana) was the golf course. The bigger deal was supposed to be the timeshare condominiums. Back then, timeshares and condos were totally new concepts. New enough to not come with the baggage they seem to carry today.

I think, and by that I mean I do not know, Dad had a vested interest in the timeshares in Fairmont. There used to be a map in the hotel lobby with a future state of the condos. Byington Trail was one of the streets. I don’t know if the condos ever materialized. In point of fact, I don’t really know whatever happened between my dad and the Magicland Development Corporation. Maybe it had something to do with Lloyd. Maybe not. But something happened. Something soured. I do know the whole thing became something we never spoke about again, once it happened.

My thoughts were futher complicated by the overt inability of my parents to go on a family vacation without a major dispute. I do not exaggerate.

Exhibit A: Note how they spent an entire week in Canada not speaking to each other. My father worked, my mother sighed heavily, my sister spent so much time in the swimming pool her hair turned green. I passed the time tightly coiled in the fetal position with stomach cramps.

Exhibit B: Note how they held a rather demonstrative conversation in the front seat of the car before vowing to never take another trip again. We checked into a motel cabin on Lake McDonald. My mother refused to speak. My father refused to eat. My sister wrote endless letters to her camp friend. I learned to shop and cook in a motel kitchenette—a skill that will serve me a hundredfold in later life.

Exhibit C: Note how, due to their inability to truly express themselves, they decided to tour Temple Square in Salt Lake City instead of going to Lagoon, the family fun center (and affordable alternative to Disneyland) their children had seen advertised on cable television since infancy.

I ask you: HOW DIFFICULT CAN RELAXATION GET?

Since those experiences it might not surprise you to know that I consider a vacation to include a lot of sitting and staring. Maybe some reading. Maybe a little walking. Maybe some good cooking. And a nice bathtub. (I do enjoy a nice, long bath.) Views are optional. (Although a huge bonus when staring, views can be distracting when reading, and if the views are truly view-worthy, they are not necessarily bereft of strangers, which can interfere with walking.)

It also might not surprise you to know that my most favorite vacations are those in which I can sit, stare, read and cook in the comfort of a cozy enclosure away from strangers. An oceanfront condo is, well, Sitter-and-Starer’s Nirvana. And a couple of years ago, in a deperate attempt to sit and stare, Alana and I found just the spot. It has haunted us ever since. The only hitch in this giddyup? It was a time-share sort of situation.

But here’s the deal:

In my mind, my dad loved the idea of sharing time. Time sharing. Whatever. Not having to maintain a completely different place that sat empty most of the year. I think he would have found the economy of the entire idea far outweighed the cost. I can see the gears turning in his mind. He wanted a quiet place for his family. He didn’t want to worry about restaurants. He wanted to cook for himself. He didn’t want to stress about reservations. He wanted to plan ahead. He only wanted to pack and unpack once. He didn’t want to be surprised. He didn’t crave adventure. He loved side trips. He loved geology. He loved to sit and do crosswords and read Rex Stout books.

Now I know this is gross displacement. I know this is me, making excuses to do what I want. And I know the decision I made, we made, I made, will lose its lustre if times ever become tight.

But if there’s one thing I know, it’s what I want.

So we got it. Now we have it. Let the sitting and staring commence.