Just passed 82k. My goal was 80k. Or at least I thought my goal was 80k. I came to the end of my writing period today and discovered I had missed the celebration. Kinda like when I missed turning over 100k miles in the Volkswagen. I was disappointed and elated at the same time.
The feeling didn’t last long. It was only a few second before I thought, “Now what?” These past few chapters had come so easily. It seems like only a few days ago I was at 70k.
Now what? I clearly wasn’t finished.
So, I went back and hacked out some chapters. I was ruthless. I don’t know if those stories will ever see the light of day, but I decided they just weren’t part of this collection. (Not for me to decide? Don’t worry, I saved them. Actually I resaved the whole kit and kaboodle with a new name I would recognize.) So I’m back at 70k. And that, I think, is good.
I have at least two or three chapters left in me. The rest will be cake? Right?
Still, it got me thinking about goals. And objectives. Up until I started teaching (lo those many years ago) I really didn’t believe in goals. I remember talking with my first principal. We were sitting on a dock on Lake Merwin and she wanted to know what my goals were for the coming year.
“I don’t believe in making goals,” I said. (God I was an asshole.)
“Well, I have to write something,” she said. She was maintaining a book of goals for all the teachers.
I looked out over the water. It was a beautiful day. I sighed.
“Well, if you have to write something down, let’s put, ‘Grant will learn to embrace a system of measurement that employs goals, objectives and tactics,'” She looked at me, stymied.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the way I see it, you can really only have one goal. One outstanding goal. In this case, it would be for me to become a good teacher. Then, if we break it down a little bit, we could set a few objectives, like maybe I’ll get through a text book, or maybe I’ll pick up a new elective or something like that. And I’ll use tactics to reach the objectives,” I said. “But frankly, I think the whole thing is bogus,” I said.
“You seem to understand the system,” she said.
“Well, yes and no. Up until now, and I mean this very minute, I think I might have been reluctant to make a goal. I mean, if I don’t make any goals, I can never really disappoint myself,” I said.
“But isn’t that aimless?”
“Sure, why not?” I said.
But teaching really made me see the value of setting a goal and achieving it. I found, especially with the population I was dealing with, the goal system was quite useful. So I embraced setting goals for my students. Much more so than myself.
It was that practice that convinced me that I probably had been setting goals all along. I just wasn’t very cognizant of my actions.
So today, I reached a goal. I celebrated for a second and a half, then I went in and cut ten thousand words.
I can’t wait for tomorrow.